| (no subject) |
[Feb. 24th, 2008|02:43 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | bed | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | eh | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Beyonce - Deja Vu (Freemasons radio edit) | ] |
Good God, I've let myself get behind on this. I've been pretty much on top of academic things this semester, except my gardening is suffering severely as a result. I saw Kyau & Albert at Rise, which was great except I completely destroyed my legs and arms and torso through the art of crazy trance dancing for 4 hours. The next night we had our second CAD party, which was more of the same; I don't think my legs have yet recovered after that. I got sick, but got better really quickly, which was a nice change. Since break, I've had this depressing, lingering feeling that I don't belong anywhere, and the more I try to figure out how to fix it the more I fear I'll never be happy in life. I've become fascinated by AI, and I think it would be a good career for me to pursue. I'm trying to make a small AI, but I keep running into interesting philosophical quandaries and petty programming issues (I can't figure out how to nicely append things to a text file from MatLab). Right now I'm trying to figure out where self awareness comes from, which is fun to do but distracting when I'm in class. I've decided a good goal would be to develop the potential for immortality, which sounds vaguely familiar...I guess I should stay away from motorcycles until my goal is accomplished.
Oh yeah, my ideal life plan as it stands:
-Graduate, pay off debts
-Spend quality time in Europe, India, SudAmerica exploring cultures
-Settle down to career in AI
-Upon midlife and subsequent uselessness of the body for all-night dancing, permanently connect computer to brain
-Learn how to use computer as part of my mind
-Gradually transfer self-awareness and memories to hardware before biological self dies, build hardware for computer in the meantime
-Exist as a self-aware, mechanically adjustable robot
-Have fun messing with people
-Get baby from corrupt adoption agency or pregnant teen and connect wires to baby's brain
-Figure out how to mold baby into another version of me as it matures
-Create/become the infrastructure for a "nation" of anarchy, watch results
-??? |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 11th, 2007|11:29 pm] |
Sunday evening I was talking with Katie when JP came to the door:
JP: "I didn't want to interrupt anything, but I figured you should know...Pogo, Matt Bowes is dead."
Me: "What?"
JP: "Matt Bowes is dead."
Me: "Huh? Hwaa.. Is this a joke?"
Jp: "Nope. Motorcycle accident. He's dead."
And so began what's been a highly surreal couple of days. Bowes was my SIBB, one of the most enthusiastic psytrance fans in the school, a fellow psychonaut, a transhumanist, an incredibly forceful and individual thinker and devout libertarian. I have no doubt that had he survived the motorcycle accident he would have left a notable mark on the world.
It's obviously sad when someone dies. It's really ironically sad when a transhumanist dies. It's really sad due to the incredible loss when someone who is so much more of an individual (as opposed to sheep or social tool) than anyone else I know (myself included) dies. The Olin community lost one out of 300. The Olin trance community lost one out of 10-20. The Olin psychedelic community lost one out of 5-10.
Rachael Karis was riding with him during the accident. Rachael was a freshman, and my favorite freshman at that. In the time I got to know her, she seemed to be of the "incredibly chill semi-hippie chick" persuasion. She let me use her ex-boyfriend's ID to try to get into a club and wasn't upset at all when I got it confiscated. She was really excited about my collection of seeds and leaves, and was very happy to lend me whatever equipment she could. She was sent to the ICU of a hospital in Boston, where she died earlier today.
Rachael's death was less of a blow than Bowes' since I only knew her for a couple weeks, but with that came the frustration of not knowing what to do about her death. Bowes represented (to me) in part a collection of beliefs and values, so to make the loss less sad I can represent these ideas in his absence (and that's not too hard since I agree with and exercise many of them). I have very little idea what Rachael stood for in life, though, so her death makes me feel more helpless.
After a couple of days of academic standstill at the college I find myself struggling to get back to work, and anxious about this weekend. Me and some others are going to go to psyforia and leave at 1am to haul ass down to Maryland to attend Bowes' funeral at 10am the next morning. In the meantime I need to make a "transhumanist flower" (something floral with synthetic, replacable parts) to put by his grave. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 28th, 2007|03:37 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | ac | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | eh | ] |
| [ | music |
| | na | ] |
Finally, it's done! I made this video for a contest...watch it and help me win (youtube watch count is one of the criteria)!
|
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 22nd, 2007|03:42 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | lounge | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
| [ | music |
| | animatrix | ] |
Yesterday I saw Harry and the Potters at Harvard, and it wasn't actually that bad. It was rockin'. There was so much Harry Potter madness, I couldn't help but wonder if there were some hookers making a killing that night by playing the crowd, so to speak. I just got done watching the entire Matrix trilogy, and...well...
A couple years ago: More recently than my previous viewing of the Matrix, I start thinking about fate. I decide that I believe in predestination based on some ideas I have about how the world works. I like to use the example of a coin toss. A coin toss is predetermined, not random, based on air, how the coin is tossed, and all the laws of nature that act on the toss. Likewise, I believe more complex natural processes, including human thought, are predestined, not random or choice-based.
Today, shortly into the first movie: The fight between Neo and Morpheus prompts me to wonder if human thought (consciousness, imagination, etc.) is subject to any rules like our physical bodies are.
During the Neo vs. A Jillion Smiths fight: The whole "you need to understand your choice" thing makes sense! Based on my earlier way of looking at fate, there are laws we don't understand governing our decisions and the circumstances surrounding them; our choices were made at the initial conditions of everything, we just don't fully understand why we do what we do until some point closer to the time of the "choice." As long as we are following rules not of our creation, our choices were made at some initial point and what we believe to be the choice is simply our realization of why we are going to do (or did) whatever action is in question.
Shortly thereafter: I realize that choice can only happen when rules are broken or when rules do not apply. A coin toss is only deterministic if it breaks the laws of physics. Human thought is only capable of choice if it is unbound by any rules. Thus, the question of the human mind being bound by rules becomes a question of whether or not we are subject to fate. OMG INTENSE MINDTRIP!!!
Current musings: Our brains, being physical, are subject to the laws of nature. Perhaps our thoughts are as a result, and thus we are bound to some yet undiscovered fate. Suppose our minds are not suject to any rules, though. What is the ability to escape from rule (that is, to think) using a means bound my laws (the brain)? Is that what consciousness is? Perhaps divinity?
It is great to get thoughts like this from intellectually investing in a few sci-fi thrillers. Perhaps it would be worth my time to practice some form of meditation to help contemplate this further. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 17th, 2007|08:25 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | bed | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | DarkPsy - "Dark Noise" | ] |
Two weekends ago I visited my dad in NYC and we bummed around for a couple days. It was a lot of fun, even though I was very tired for most of it. I arrived in NYC at 5am and walked around for several hours (I took a short nap in a bus terminal) until my dad got there at 11am. I got to see Times square with only a dozen or so people in it, I got offered a fake ID once, and got asked to buy or sell drugs 6 times.
Last weekend I went to Montreal. Rather, I went to upstate NY, picked up Katie, and went to Montreal with her and her co-workers. They seemed nice and very fun, but they're definately the kind of people that would drive me crazy after too much exposure. Oddly enough, I didn't go to any clubs or anything; opting instead to spend time with Katie and walk around during their Bastille Day celebration.
When we pulled up to the hotel, we could hear cannons, which was sorta freaking sweet. I discovered that meals in Montreal (at least where we ate) are generally bigger on the quality and less on the quantity then in restaurants here in the States. I had the most amazing Raviolli of my life thus far at this one French restaurant. I started the drive back to Boston via Paradox, NY at about sundown and got back to Boston as the sun was rising, which didn't do wonders for my sleep schedule the next day. Meh.
I discovered something interesting, disturbing, and frustrating: apparently, the reason many drugs were made illegal was because of racial hatred [1] [2] [3].
I've been poking my nose into politics, and my favorite presidential candidate is Ron Paul. He's a Republican from Texas (I can't wait to see Anna's and/or Ashly's face when I tell them this) who favors drastic government reduction at the federal level, a return to the Constitution, State's Rights, and opposses the war on drugs. The only position of his that I know about that we disagree strongly on is the abortion issue (being a doctor and delivering 4000 babies has made him pro-life). I'm not exactly optimistic about his chances, though; even though he speaks rationally and argues well, it seems, based on the amount of applause that Giuliani gets in this clip, that emotional appeal and irraitonal patriotism are alive and well. His name is fun to say, though. RONPAUL!!!!
This is so funny it made me cry. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 1st, 2007|02:06 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | indoors | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
| [ | music |
| | 1200 Micrograms - "The Creation" | ] |
So on Friday at 4:20pm we (me, Nik, Jim) launched via canoe from the docks on Wellesley's campus into Lake Waban. We had camping supplies, no fear of the unknown, and a blue bin of food and drink because we were afraid of hunger and we'd been told the Charles is barely safe to swim in, much less drink out of. Our goal was to get to MIT by Sunday evening. We had a map printed from google maps that had the 5 dams we'd have to portage arund circled in pink.
You can see on google maps that the stream from this lake to the Charles river disappears for a bit. This is because it is covered by trees and/or brush anywhere ranging from 10 feet above the water's surface to 1 foot. Some parts were shallow, so most of this part was spent pushing the canoe along under brush and foliage. A number of insects and arachnids took up our boat as a home after falling from the trees, and everything was basically covered in leaves by the time we were done with this leg of the journey. At one point, the sediment at the bottom of the river (which, a sign informed us, was lead contaminated and unfit for wading) was so loose that when you steped in the river, you'd sink up to your knee in mud (plus the few inches of water on top of that). Jim lost a shoe to the mud, and Nik hit a bunch of sharp rocks at the bottom that produced two rather impressive gashes on one foot. Basically, that part of the journey sucked. Oh, and there was a dam that we hadn't noticed on google maps during that part of the trip.
Once we hit the Charles, we stopped to eat, drink, take care of Nik's foot, and complain about the journey so far. Jim had been clearing spiders out of the boat, and we had spent about 2 hours trudging through swamp and gross stream. Once on the Charles, things were looking up. We met a nice couple drinking wine on a motorboat who told us they'd done the Charles in one day before and that if we were looking for a place to camp we should look past the dam that was coming up. We unhauled everything at the dam (what should have been our first dam but was really our second), crossed a bridge, dragged the canoe across a long field of grass, and set up camp in this rather nice clearing in the middle of a patch of trees. This was at 8:20.
I forgot my hammock, so I slept on a blanket with another blanket on top of me. This served satisfactorily as mosquito netting, and thus bugs were not an issue for me as they were for the others, who had sleeping bags. The cold was an issue however. Basically, I was aware of when I was not asleep, and it seemed like a long time. I woke up and there was some animal in the woods that kept getting closer until I made a noise and it went away. I did get some sleep, though...I know this because I remember dreaming extensively between bouts of being awake. We woke up at 9ish, ate breakfast, and pushed off at 9:40.
One of our duffel bags had gotten ants, so we had ants crawling all over our boat for a little while. The first part of the day was actually very pleasant; there was sun, the river had depth and width, and we were not tired out yet. The exception was another dam right after the place we camped, but it was small enough that we could get out and just ease the canoe over. It should be noted that Wellesley has riverfront houses so grand that they put the Edina residences on the Minnehaha to shame. We stopped for lunch at a park where we technically weren't supposed to picnic and then continued through the early afternoon on a part of the river that was rather windy against us. We saw a HUGE snapping turtle swimming by the boat (think, like, 15" shell diameter), and a bunch of swans and herons.
As we crossed highland street, we saw the water end and heard rushing water. 'Twas another dam that we hadn't noticed on google maps! This one had a nasty portage; we had to carry the canoe and the 40-50 lb tub of provisions up a hill and then down a steeper hill to the other side of the dam. Shortly afterwards, there was ANOTHER DAM!!! For this one, we had to carry the boat and food under Rt. 9 and down a trail in the woods. This was a) unpleasant, and b) the fourth un-predicted dam on the trip.
After this was a highly annoying part of the river; it was annoying because it was slow and shallow enough that blocks of concrete and tires snuck up on us and scraped the bottom of the boat. There were a ton of mussel shells on the bottom, and we saw a deer and many gaggles of geese. Newton falls came up after this, and that portage involved going down a bunch of parking lot. After those, we came upon another suprise dam under Rt. 16 between Wellesley and Newton. We had to carry the boat and food across a liquor store parking lot, where Nik got some weird looks because of all the duct tape on his otherwise bare feet, and through this rather narrow path through some woods.
We had to walk the boat a ways because of rocks and shallowness, but then the river got deep and pleasant once more. We passed a lot of people on kayaks, canoes, and eventually motorboats. This was a good sign because it meant that there were not going to be dams for a while. We saw some pretty amazing houses, and it was good until we got to the 3rd predicted (8th unpredicted) dam.
At this point, things got all industrial and gross. In order to save hauling a canoe a block, across a street, and then across a bridge, we unhauled in this filthy little cove inhabited by dead fish and birds. We managed to get everything out of the water without actually touching the water. For a couple hours, the river just sucked. It was dirty, full of shopping carts and car parts, shallow, and rocky. We ended up walking a lot of it (just dragging the unladen boat through the water) which was probably not healthy considering the water quality. The 9th dam was small and no problem to lower the canoe over, and the last dam had a relatively harmless portage through a park. By this time the sun had set, and we were debating what to do. Our options were:
-stop at an island nearby and set up camp
-stop at the American legion post where psyforia is held and camp there
-go all the way to MIT and sleep there
-go all the way to MIT and find Olin people working in the area to crash with
-go all the way to MIT and get picked up a night early
After not being able to contact Mel (who lives near MIT) and failing to find Crawford's number (Crawford is reliably awake late and would be able to drive Nik's car to MIT to pick us up) we decided to just go for MIT. I was hesitant because rivers can get dark at night, but Boston's light pollution and street lights of nearby streets eased those fears. We lit a candle and paddled through the night for about 3 hours, past motorboats and couples kissing on the paths and benches next to the river.
So on the part of the Charles next to MIT there is a rock wall. Thus, our only option was, basically, to exit the canoe at an MIT dock where there were, for some odd reason, a number of people out at 11pm. We landed amongst some very friendly people who were out for Midnight Sailing, which happens apparently every full moon at this dock. The people in charge let us land our canoe, chill, and eat. We met this guy who'd wanted to hire Jon Cass for the summer. Crawford called by some miracle, and we told him to come to east campus. Then, a sailboat pulled up and guess who got out? Ryan Hubbard! We were like, "WTF, what are the chances!?!" and we explained that we hadn't actually planned on being there for sailing, we'd just landed after a full day of paddling from Wellesley.
Eventually Crawford showed up, and we headed back. As we were driving back, it started raining and we were glad we weren't camping. It turns out that we overestimated the amount of food we'd need by about a factor of 2, and underestimated the number of dams in our way by that same factor. We'd gotten to MIT a day early, and we realized that it may indeed be possible to get there in one day given knowledge of the porages ahead (so we wouldn't have to scout them out) and given that one day means less food and supplies needed for the trip. Perhaps this will be attempted again soon. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Apr. 10th, 2007|12:06 am] |
Gaaaa! I have soooo much fucking work to do and it SUCKS!!! I'm about a month behind in Sigsys, a week or so in UOCD, and few days in Sofware Design. On top of that, I have this big-ass project/paper thing due last Friday for controls, but MatLab and Simulink have decided to team up, and go on strike from helping me. It's as if they're saying "Hell no, you can't model a top-heavy transfer function! Fuck you and your perfectly legitimate notch filter!" Plus, the problem is on hard drive needles, so I'm dealing with settling times and other specs smaller than the two programs can even represent at times. FUCK!!! I know how to do the problem, I'm just getting stuck in the implementation, and because of that I can't figure out later steps.
This problem is why I'm not working on my song-voice synthesizer for Sigsys, which I need to make some serious progress on by Wednesday. This problem is why I didn't have the time to make grasshopper pie for Easter. This problem is why I'm basically really fucking insane right how!!!
*twitch* |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Mar. 24th, 2007|03:34 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | bed | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | consumed by anger | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Linkin Park - "Faint" | ] |
Katie and I broke up, calling it quits after a mostly happy 13.75ish months.
I went to psyforia, and I realized fully how out of shape I am. Some of it may have been that my mind was not at all in the music, but I could only dance heavily for 10 minutes or so before needing to cool off, breathe, and rehydrate.
Things I should do:
-Give up hookah
-Develop girlfriend application
-EXERCISE!!!
On that last point, I think I'll get cardio by running up and down the great lawn, jumping and roll-landing across the sidewalks. Mmmmm...parkor practice. I should also start working on pull-ups and pushups, although I'm not optimistic about those. Any other ideas for ways to exercise and practice sweet-ass parkor movements that won't get me killed or injured? |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Mar. 21st, 2007|03:28 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | bed | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | good! | ] |
| [ | music |
| | York Feat.Asheni - "Mercury Rising (Hammer & Funabashi mix)" | ] |
I saw 300 in IMAX today, and it was good. I kept imagining Xerxes as a drag queen though, which made it hard for me to take his character seriously. I think it would be great if they made a sequel called "40,000." The plot wasn't great and the dialogue was lacking, but every single frame of that movie was beautiful.
Oh, and if I see that movie again in theaters I won't state the name of the movie at the ticket counter, I'll just shout "TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELL!" and hope the guy behind the counter doesn't live under a rock.
I saw District B13 the other night, and that was good. Now I want to learn parkor. I went out for a short run just now, and hopefully I'll make that into a habit. If this ends up happening, it would be sweet to do a parkor run across Babson.
Parkor is close to poker, which I won some money in last night...it was a good time. I watched Tristan and Iso-something the other night as well, which was sad, but not as sad for me and JP as it was for Tati and Ashley, what with JP and I being rugged, manly men and whatnot. I watched Requiem for a Dream tonight, and now drug addiction scares me even more than it did before. I watched The Boondock Saints again as well, and forgot how funny that part with the cat is. "It it dead?" LOL.
Despite my rugged manliness, American History X almost made me cry when I watched it this afternoon. This, combined with the fact that I've been sleeping better and feel better makes me think I'm over the spell of depression I had. I told my mom this, but she's still going to call me, like, every other day. Grrrr.
I've also been working toward finishing the reorganization of my room. I put all my christmas lights up in descending rings on the ceiling, making a shallow, cut off cone shape that I like a lot. In general, I like my room now. I tried practicing DJ skillz a little, but the external sound card was being a bitch. My solution was to rig up an incredibly ghetto system wherein the left channel of my computer's audio out goes to headphones and the right channel goes to the speakers. Speaking of speakers, I also put a 5.1 surround system in the bathroom so my music listening won't be interrupted when I have to take a shower or whatnot. My next step is to rig a solenoid up to the light switch so I can turn off the lights from my bed on the opposite side of the room.
Oh, and on St. Patty's Day me, Gabe, Martina, Josh, Jobim, and Easy E went into Boston. While we were waiting at the T stop, me and Josh simultaniously came up with the idea of building a snowman on the tracks. Josh and Easy went about kicking show into a pile on the tracks, when a car came from the other direction. The driver leaned out the window and yelled, "Get off the tracks! Do you two want to be removed from the station?!?" Completely unphased, Easy responded "No. We want to build a snowman." That made my day. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Mar. 14th, 2007|01:09 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | bed | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | okayishly semi-depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Chicane feat. Tom Jones - "Stoned in Love" | ] |
It feels like it's been a while since I posted here...
The last week or so has been pretty shitty. I'm pretty sure I have depression, although today I felt a little better than usual. It makes me worried that I'm getting used to it though, so maybe I'll figure out how to deal with this after all my problem sets and crap are due at the end of the week. Then I'll have a free week to figure out what's going wrong. In the meantime, I told my parents and they've started calling me every couple of days (starting today) to see how I am...how annoying.
Over break, I probably won't get to Montreal which is sad. On the other hand, that means there's a smaller chance of me dancing myself to death, and a greater chance of seeing south Boston on St. Patrick's day. Then, the second weekend of break, I'ma go to psyforia again...which I cannot wait for. In other news...
I'm considering getting a tattoo: one with ink that is only visible under UV lights. I'm not sure I want one though, since visible scarring is a possibility. I'd also want to get something impressive (i.e. not little), but that would cost a lot and, I'm told, hurt a lot. We'll see.
I just tried boxing for the first time. I sucked at it, but it was fun and I hope to keep practicing.
I think it would be awesome to adopt a dedicated hobby of doing things so outlandish that nobody's ever thought to make rules against them. That would take real creativity and balls. Oh, and probably legal skills as well.
I downloaded huge amounts of music thanks to http://trance.co.ua/_files/tracks/, but for some reason now the site is slow for me.
My new favorite trance song is "Stoned in Love" by Chicane and my favorite house track is "Guilty" by De Souza (check out the Ministry of Sound video page). With the insane amounts of high-quality trance I've found, my deep connection to music is back. Wheeeeeeee!
I made a short mix for the drag show, which I didn't perform in due to apathy, lack of practice, and trying to cope with my mental state. It took a long time to mix, but it was pretty fun and I learned a lot about Ableton. This coming week = more practice. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Mar. 7th, 2007|01:08 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | new bed | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed again :( | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Van Der Karsten - "Cry (Club Mix)" | ] |
The past half a week or so has been weird. I've sorta stopped feeling things as much as I used to, like everything's dulled...except sadness and apathy. It's not the same weird feeling I had before, and I don't have the music connection thing I had before, which is disappointing. I hope I snap out of this soon, because it's really hard to get work done.
To try to fix this, I've dropped DiffEqs, which has made my workload bearable even though it seems like I'm always behind in something (now it's SigSys). I also rearranged my room to make it seem bigger, more friendly, and just more sweet. I make use of our high ceilings, and I got rid of the king-sized bed (2 doubles pushed together) opting instead to stack the two mattresses on the floor. This makes for a very comfortable bed I can easily make into a king sized when needed. I also used one of the bed frames to make a DJ booth, with the height just right (the desks are too low to shand and turn knobs comfortably). My hope is that this will make me practice more. I still need to clean it, put everything where I want it, and put up my decorations and christmas lights.
I want to hold a rave at Olin, but my guess is that about 5-10 people would come. This is a problem, because then you'd feel like you're just dancing alone in the dark, so I had a brilliant idea for a location...a handicapped bathroom! One room per floor has a bathroom that could hold about 10 people and a compact DJ booth cozily, perhaps 13 with the shower. I think that part of the brilliance lies with the theory that trance and raves are escapist. Most people don't have these bathrooms, and with dynamic lighting or psychadelic decor (depending on the music), the setting could become completely foreign and new, aiding the participants in feeling like they're somewhere else completely. Oh, and if someone turned on the shower things could get really hot really fast. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Feb. 24th, 2007|03:37 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | bed | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | WHEEEEEE!!! | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Skazi - "Fucking my Brain" | ] |
I think whatever depression/weird feeling I had is gone. I feel awesome!
I went to psyforia tonight, a monthly psytrance event outside of cambridge. The first two hours were nice, but the music was sorta house-y and chill as far as that genre's concerned. At about midnight, though, DJ somebody came on and kicked it up to what I've been longing to hear in a community setting: 140+ bmp full-on psytrance.
The layers upon layers of sound weaving in and out of each other and jerking you all around a bizzare and varied world of sound were just euphoric. I was pretty sure my feet were blistering, but it didn't matter because physically reacting to the sound and just moving to the textures felt so profound and connecting it seemed unavoidable. Hell, my legs could have been broken and I would've been dancing.
I got offered X, but I turned it down because I was driving. Awww, aren't I responsible? Oh, and in retrospect it was a good idea because me dancing substanceless got my heart rate up to about 200bmp. For an hour or so. My chest eventually started hurting a lot, so I took a break and stood outside the bathroom and talked with a guy called Nutz. I'm pretty sure he was high, because he was laughing literally after every sentance, but he was pretty cool.
Some other guy was handing out fliers for a free party in NH next weekend, which I'll have to consider. It sounds like an adventure, with musical styles ranging from psytrance to normal trance to hardcore and nrg. The next psyforia is in a month, the second weekend of spring break. The first weekend, though, I want to go to Montreal for a 2 night rave. Getting there might be an issue, though...I don't know of any interested people with a car. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Feb. 17th, 2007|02:16 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | bed | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | still depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Rammstein - "Amour" | ] |
For over a week now I've felt really weird in sort of a depressing, trapped way. I felt a little better last weekend, but now not so much. I've also maintained that deep connection with music that I mentioned in my last post.
I'm writing because I had a revelation just now...a brilliant, simple, and completely accurate explanation for why I've been feeling so strange for the past week.
I need a break from life.
To flesh that out, I feel like I need to do something that I really enjoy, something different from the routine, something...fulfilling, sorta. I don't mean fulfilling as in "oh, I've been getting so much work done"(which I have, by the way...I've been working my ass of this past week), I mean fulfilling as in making me feel connected to others and happy about the world and at least some small part of its population. I think a good fix for this situation would be to see friends from back home, for example...excellent people I know well but who I don't see every day.
Anyways, this explanation totally fits the progression of this feeling...I felt better last weekend because I started working really hard to catch up on the work I got behind on. It was different, it took worries away, and it was fulfilling in some sense of the word. Then, I realized it was not as great as it seemed for my happiness, that I was getting worn out, and as it became more and more a new, tiresome routine this feeling became worse than it was when it started. The music thing stems from the fact that the music I listen to is, as Bootles put it (and I agree), escapist. It's really the best thing I have right now to get away from my life.
The really depressing part is this: I can't think of anything feasible in the near future to fix this feeling...distance, money, or age restrictions all get in the way of the things that come to mind. I haven't been thinking about this for a while (20 mins or so) so this assessment may be premature, but it's a bit horrifying nontheless.
To end on a not-quite-so-hopeless note, there's a psytrance event that I'll be going to in Cambridge next weekend, and that'll probably help some.
Oh, and I could have seen Starkillers tonight at Avalon or PvD in NYC. Fuck 21+ nonsense. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Feb. 11th, 2007|09:24 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | bed | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Gouryella - "Walhalla" | ] |
For some reason, I've felt really weird the past few days. A big part of the weirdness is this depressing feeling of dissatisfaction with my life. For some reason, I'm just not happy with how things are going, even though I was half a week ago. I hope I snap out of it soon.
Another part of the weirdness is a deeper than normal reaction to music. For some reason, I feel compelled to move to whatever's playing, and the euphoric parts of trance songs cause adrenaline rushes. It's weird, but I wouldn't mind not snapping out of this for a while...it's sorta nice to enjoy EDM a lot.
Another bit if the weirdness is an infatuation with the song "Are You Fine" by Kyau vs. Albert.
Speaking of music, I hate this city. Once upon a time (January, I believe), a bouncer was stabbed to death on Lansdowne street. The city of Boston temporarily revoked the right of clubs to host those aged 18-20. Now, Boston is SHUTTING DOWN MUSIC FOR THIS AGE BRACKET AFTER 11PM!!! The reason they're giving is that they want to stamp out noise and disruption or some nonsense like that. Everytime I think about this, It makes me want to:
-hit some conservative politician really really hard in the face
-get some speakers and start a rave scene
-get some speakers and protest in front of city hall
Unfortunately, I'm lacking in time, money, and the willingness to risk getting arrested for this cause. Depressing, eh? Oh, and speaking of depressing, allow me to tell you about Starkillers (aka Nick Terranova). He created the song "Discoteka" and spins deep, sexy, dirty house. It would be soooo great to hear him play, and he's playing at Avalon next weekend. Fucking 21+ nonsense.
I'm trying to decide whether or not to perform in the Olin/Babson drag show. If I do, it'll be to a slightly sped up "Le Disko" by Shiny Toy Guns. Pardon the low quality of the link. Anyways, I'm not sure though...I'd have to do a considerable amount of practice, and I'm not sure if I have the time.
One last thing. Do any of the, like, 3 people who read this happen to have a awesome idea of something about can of beans sized to cast in metal? I think a skull would be sweet but I don't know where to find one and I don't feel like killing anything (except the fucking mayor, lol jk-ish). |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Feb. 3rd, 2007|03:54 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | katie's bed | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Shiny Toy Guns - "Le Disko" | ] |
You know how dogs sniff each other? Apparently some people do as well.
So...last night I went to Boston's only afterhours club, a small, private, members-only, two-story venue called Rise. Thanks to facebook, Woot got himself, me, JP, and Erika on the guestlist. It was pretty neat, falling below the Gay 90s and above Myth on the list of my favorite clubs.
The club itself was quite small, and nicely decorated. Upstairs was the main dancefloor, with a variety of lights, a cluster of disco balls of various sizes, moniters, and (my favorite) replica mooninites (for people who don't live here, I'll expalin in a little bit). Downstairs (or rather, less upstairs) was the lounge, which had a nature theme to it. Decorations included branches, plastic lizards on the ceiling, and glowing columns that changed color. There were also projectors projecting psychadelic patterns onto circular screens.
The DJs played mostly house and techno, which was okay, but it could have been a lot better. The main DJ was Steve Porter. In the lounge later in the evening they played "Another One Bites the Dust" with some extra percussion mixed into the beat, which was cool. At one point in the evening, a girl dancing near me had a seizure (presumably because of the lights), but when it was over she was like, "eh, I'm fine *dance dance dance*." I took a break from dancing once, and:
Dude: Hey, you're gorgeous.
Me: Haha, thanks.
Dude: Who're you here with?
Me: A friend drove me.
Dude: Hey, want to come to a party after this?
Me: Eh, no thanks.
Dude: Can I have your number?
Me: Sorry, I'm straight.
Dude: Awww, that's too bad.
Me: Thanks, though...you flatter me.
Dude: Well, you're very nice.
Me: Do you come here often?
Dude: Sometimes. You?
Me: First time.
Dude: Do you like it?
Me: Yeah, it's okay. Me and my friends sometimes go to Montreal...they have really nice afterhours there.
Dude: I'm from New York. You should come party down there sometime.
Me: Maybe sometime.
Dude: If you do, you can stay with me.
Me: Thanks. Hhm, I'd better see what my friends are up to. See you around.
Awww, I'm gorgeous! But anyways, about recent events in Boston. A marketing plot for Aqua Teen Hunger Force involved putting up LED signs depicting Mooninites in major cities. This is all well and good in most places, but in Boston (and only Boston), the devices caused a bomb scare because people were like "Ahhh, it has batteries and wires! The terrorists are here!" Bridges were closed, a couple were destroyed with high-pressure water cannons, and two artists were arrested. They held a funny press conference.
The men are being charged with planting haox devices and disorderly conduct or inciting panic or some nonsense like that. It feels unfair, though...I feel like others need to be arrested for being complete and total idiots. Oh, and what about the president and his cabinet for spreading fear of such things. Tangent: Due to safety concerns, the mayor has decreed that clubs in Boston are not having their 19+ licenses renewed until certain safety concerns are addressed. Basically, all clubs in Boston are now 21+ (except Rise, which is private) until they make them...idk...safer? This seems rediculous as well...I really don't like Boston and it's fucking annoying puritan roots.
I think it would be great, if the artists are charged with a crime, to attach a battery, wire, and maybe a pipe to a sign that says "This is not a bomb," then make a bunch and put them up all over Boston in protest. I'd be afraid, though, that they'd connect it to Al-Quaeda somehow, issue a terror alert, and just to be safe make the clubs 25+. Fuckers.
Oh, and hopefully I'll be going to Montreal over spring break. The first weekend of break there is a two-evening-long rave!. The first night, there's trance/house in one room and electro/techno in the other, and the second night there's hardcore and crap in one room with psytrance/goa in the other. Woot! I can't wait to go to a psytrance performance. Speaking of psytrance, there's a small community in Boston that hosts monthly events, and if I don't stay at Olin for the 2007 commencement I could make it back for Infected Mushroom in Minneapolis. Yay! |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 31st, 2007|03:38 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | bed | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | busy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | none!?!? WTF?!?!?! | ] |
Erika got Woot the 2004 Tiesto Magik concert DVD for Christmas (Donovan, this is the same DVD me and your sister got you a while back). Apparently, it's an annual event for Tiesto: playing in a dome(enclosed)-stadium in Amsterdam in June to a crowd of 40,000-70,000. If Woot can convince Erika to go with him, his mom will pay for him and Erika to go see the next one.
After offering to dress up and act as Erika (Woot said no) I started thinking of cost-effective ways of getting Woot and Erika and me and JP and Will and anyone else who wanted to go to Amsterdam for early July. Things are cheaper in bulk, right?
My first idea was to rent/charter a jet. Ideally, this would be cheaper than plane tickets for however many people wanted to come. Once in Holland, we could rent a house or apartment. That might get cramped though, so we could cut costs by paying a farmer a small sum in return for letting us sleep in a field. It would be awesome if we found a pot farmer. Our campfire would be amazing.
A jet might be expensive, so we could take a boat. Better yet, we could make a boat. A group of students is making an autonomous boat for lake/pond use, so it's forseeable that a bunch of Olin students could make a passenger ship to cross an ocean. Time would be an issue, though, especially with all the fuel we'd have to carry. My solution was to have Woot's dad (who has some connection with the military) get one of those refueling planes with the big fuel-penis to refuel the boat. Apparently, this is not a sound plan because the idiots who designed the plane made it so it couldn't travel as slow as the boat could fast. Oh, and the thrust from the plane's engines would push the boat backwards.
I heard they made a really fast boat that can go 70 mph, but the whole thing is made of carbon fiber and that's not very cost effective.
My next bit of brilliance would be to make a blimp with jet engines. I guess there'd be some issue with the drag of the body, though, so the jet engines wouldn't work. The solution? Ditch the jet engines and replace them with food, a generator, and a sound wireless internet connection. Then we could leave a couple months before school ends, work and take finals from the blimp, and arrive in time for the concert.
Alas, Woot would not be chill with living in a blimp with the same people for weeks, to I can up with a last brilliant plan.
We could rent a jet but cut costs by downsizing the pilot. I mean, comeon...in movies amatuers fly planes all the time. It still might be expensive, though, so we could cut costs further by sneaking into the concert. Seeing as we'd have a jet, we could fly over the dome and parachute onto the roof. Then, we'd nail the cloth to the roof of the dome, cut a hole in the roof, and drop down. We would hang there, suspended above the crowd, with the best view in the house. Meanwhile, the cloth of the parachutes would cover the holes in the dome's roof.
Here's the absolutely brilliant part: the parachutes would not have strings...they would have elastics. This would allow us, after the concert, to lower ourselves to the ground by cutting all but one of the elastic cords.
As far as the plane goes, we'd just put parachutes on that too and point it towards a field as the last person jumped out.
You know, everyone around me should probably be happy for the sake of their safety and that of the world in general that I'm not studying engineering or design or anything like that. Oh, wait... |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 28th, 2007|08:43 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | bed | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | frustrated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Infected Mushroom & Shiva Shidapu - "Area 51" | ] |
Someone in power hates me.
February 15 - Minneapolis - Above & Beyond
March 17 - Minneapolis - Nick Terranova (aka Starkillers)
May 17 - Minneapolis - INFECTED MUSHROOM!!!
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!
In other news, a New Zealand-based company has developed "Funkpills," a safer, more regulated, and mostly legal alternative to popular club drugs. According to my research (raver forums), they work really well. I say mostly legal since they're legal in pretty much every country except this one. It infuriates me! Libertarian ideals aside, legalizing these pills means fewer people would be dropping sketchy drugs some basement chemist made and more people would be dropping better-regulated pills manufactured to some New Zealand standard I admit I know nothing about. However, I dislike using that argument because my social-contract-oriented beliefs say that the whole drug illegalization thing is, on principle alone, mostly bullshit.
The ingredient the DEA made a schedule 1 drug is BZP. Their reasoning pisses me off, though. They refer to use as "abuse," without really defining what distinguishes the two. In the section entitled "Why Are BZP and TFMPP Being Controlled?" the "reasons" given are mostly similarities (situational similarities, not health ones) between BZP and X: they are sold in similar forms, people with X have been caught and have had BZP with them, X and BZP are found in "similar venues", etc.
I've come to dispise the inconsistently-protected notion of "public health." Why is it that people can't legally do non-medicinal-or-socially-acceptable drugs but they can legally perform self-mutilation, smoke, drink, and/or eat to the point of obesity and poor health? |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Dec. 22nd, 2006|02:10 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | katie's house | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused and a little scared | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Tiesto - "Zanzibar" | ] |
So a link to this blog was sent out to randomness. The entry was some super-conservative idiot (or a really good prankster) talking about how Linux is going to destory our nation and kill everyone. I couldn't help but read some other entries, and oh man was it worth it. I posted below just a few of my favorite quotes. To continue the hilarity, visit shellytherepublican.com
LINUX
A Linux user’s view of the world. Hallucinations from excessive use of Linux might be similar to those of LSD or pot.
And guess what software Osama Bin Laden uses on his laptop? If you guessed it was Linux you would be 100% right. Osama uses Linux because he knows designed to counterfit DVDs, curcumventing the Digital Millenium Copyright Act, and defraud companies like Disney.
“Quick, Call the Cops - it’s an Emergency”… “Oh no… this Linux based telephone has crashed, and I’m going to be beaten up by terrorists”. Unfortunately this is an every day occurence in Europe thanks to their unreliable choice of operating system.
WIKIPEDIA
[Wikipedia logo] Notice the occult symbols within the globe, which has been blasted apart… Clearly a coded message about the Wikepidians’ own intent to destroy our planet. Notice also the promotion of Un-Godly foreign languages and decadent pornography obsessed cultures like Sweden (”Svenska”, as they would have it).
SCIENCE
The bat, according to liberals it exists because of a process called evolution. Evolution is a “magical” process by which rocks and other inanimate matter are transformed into living creatures. Suffice to say that this has never been proven in a lab.
Science: Why is it run like Saddam’s dictatorship?
IRAQ
Statistics have proven that 9 out of 10 Iraqis are glad that the USA freed their country. The remaining percentage are too Muslim to be important anyway.
DRUGS
My cousin laughed when he saw me see this evil weed and I thought he was even going to offer me one of his “jazz cigarettes”. Straight out, I punched him down, tied him up and called our local Sheriff, Officer Dorian Sherman. Naturally Sheriff S. was as horrified as I was to see this devil plant growth in our good county and he gave my unconscious cousin a pretty strong seeing too with his baton for resisting arrest (the liberal fag wouldn’t get up and walk to the car like a man).
POKEMON
Jigglypuff: The only pokeman to be “gay” and “out” - Jigglypuff’s trademark move is to sing songs which entice characters into a drug-like trance of sexual debauchery. This ultra-liberal pokeman says “It’s Okay to be Gay”.
Metapod: is one of the rarest and most powerful Pokemons. It is surely no coincidence that it is crescent shaped, like the crescent-moon the Muslims worship. This is burka-clad pokeman is an advert for children to turn away from Jesus Christ, as the player who can evolve the most Pokemons into Islamofascist Metapods is at an advantage.
PORN
How disgusting can it get I wonder? I am now certain, they don’t know any limits. Maybe they film a porn where they have sex on brutally killed snowflake-children as we speak! Or maybe they live broadcast abotions. I think they would find that to be a turn on, too! You will burn in hell for this!
SEX
Q: Does the birth control pill or the shot cause breast cancer?
A: If you were to ask most gynecologists this question, they’d probably say, “No, there’s no link. Don’t worry about it.” They are lying liberals and they are going to hell. Ignore them. Studies by well respected scientific bodies have shown that thousands of women who took contraceptive tablets have since gone on to develop breast cancer. Many of them died horribly. Do you want that?
N.B. Men are also allowed to have sex outside marriage under two other very specific circumstances:
1) According to Proverbs (6:26), if they can find a prostitute that costs less then half a loaf of bread (and at WalMart prices, that won’t be easy. Try the flooded out areas of New Orleans. Or Ethiopia. I hear they’re desperate there.)
2) After a battle, when they have vanquished their enemy, the victorious men of God can have intercourse with their womenfolk.
HOMOSEXUALITY
We all know that homosexuals like to eat the strangest foods. What could be more gay than sipping a “sake” while nibbling at “sushi”. These are disgusting foreign foods that no sane person would eat.
This innocent child is already attracted to brightly-colored clothing, could this be an early onset of homosexuality? This infant’s formula may contain soy-protein which James Rutz has identified as the most femenizing substance known to man. A soy-free diet may help prevent this child from growing up liberal.
What practicable alternative is there other than let women care for the children, cook and protect the family structure? Let the man care for the children? We all know that this is leads to 55% of homosexuality among the suffering children.
"THE RACE ISSUE"
As Republicans it is, of course, our mission from God to pretend to like “people of color”. They have so many votes nowadays, that it would be foolish to do otherwise.
Howdy Black folks! We just wanted to let you know that we Republicans are chilling on your vibe! Hip hop! Bo! Big shout out to all the ghetto hep-cats! Yeah, that’s right and this is the bizzness, see? We Republicans been runnin’ these killer ads all over the nation, on every radio station, to fight Democrat contamination. We hot to your ting!
Once more...www.shelleytherepublican.com Just so there's absolutely no confusion, there is no way in hell I'd believe any of this crap. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Dec. 18th, 2006|12:36 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | desk | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | frustrated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Sharam - "Party All the Time" | ] |
Man, I still don't like my life that much...
The Probstat Final felt like this. What made it worse is that it, like most of Dr. M's tests, was biased towards people who learn best by taking notes (It's open notes, but only notes you take while personally in class). That and I was waaaay behind in the class. Why? The POE project is why! The rest of my group has gotten working on the project, which is good. The exception is Woot...he put it off and then decided "Ah, it's too late now." I'd call that procrastination, but procrastination implies getting it done! Gaaah! As a result, our project will have only electrical and software systems, not the mechanical gantry. Right, now back to Probstat. I have TWO problem sets to make up today, and on top of that I have to print my Expo Poster before late or else a huge, hour long queue will form to print to the school's only poster printer.
Oh, and Snowball, the Olin formal dance, was yesterday. Of course I had to go, what with having a girlfriend and all. Pretty, dressed-up girls and stylishly dressed dudes aside, it was quite disappointing though. I sent an email to the "DJs" asking that they play at least some of the top-notch house and club remixes that I put on one of the public servers, or maybe some trance. I pointed out that there are quite a few EDM fans in the community (thanks, frehsman class) and we would range from disappointed to pissed off if the only songs played were "Heaven," "Every Time We Touch," or "Sandstorm." At about 11:00ish they'd been playing just normal hip-hop/r&b/dancehall (the dance was to go until 12), and I was talking with Katie:
Me: Man, they'd better whip out some good house or something...they've only got an hour left.
Music: *Dance beat*
Me: Whaaa! Yay!
Music: *speads up to maybe 140 bpm*
Me: *nervous because those are raving speeds, and raving songs at dances are usually corney pop-trance wannabes* *pause* *walk over to the dancefloor*
Music: (on top of beat) Turn up the bass! Turn up the bass! Turn up the bass! Turn up the bass!
Me: Awwww!
Music: *pause*
...
Music: I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me, I sitll feel your touch in my dreams...
What the fuck! So I went over to Woot while Katie was talking with Bonnie, and was sharing my frustration. He was like "I'll take what I can get." We danced (not, like, together...ew). As the song was coming to a close, it eventually wound down to just the beat. Woot and I, still moving, were professing unheard encouragement to the DJ to keep the beat going and make a smooth transition to some trance/house. The beat ended, and *dramatic pause*... hip-hop. FUCK!!! ONE "TECHNO" SONG, AND IT WAS EVERY FUCKING TIME WE TOUCH!!! GAAAAAAHHH!!! Coyler (the DJ at the time) later apologized for not including some good house. Apparently, that was to be a part of Alex's (the first DJ's) set, but it got cut short. All in all, I think of it like this: the dance was like a club except...
-it was more expensive
-you have to dress up
-the djs were crap
-the sound was not that great
-the music was not that great
-the dancefloor was sparse
-it only went till midnight
-Katie was old enough to go :) |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Dec. 14th, 2006|11:50 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | bed | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | really frustrated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Mat Silver vs. Tony Burt - "Ultimate Wave (Alphazone remix)" | ] |
Man, the end of the semester sucks. I'm done with two classes, but the other two are being bitches. There's Probstat, in which I have 2 problem sets to make up, a final, and a paper due. On top of that, I don't really know the later material so I'll have to study, and the professor has routinely been fucking me over on quizzes and will be on the final as well. He allows notes taken in class on the quizzes and final, but people like me who learn better when not taking notes get screwed because when the paper-memroy designed exams roll around I have nothing but my shitty memory. Then there's POE, where our project is still shitastically behind and my marvelous control code doesn't work. Nor does the circuit I built. Or maybe it's just one. Basically, the whole system is so complex that from now till Tuesday I'll be rebuilding it in simpler components in an effor to debug the whole fucking thing.
Oh, well...all I need to do is look at this picture and I laugh for a good solid minute. |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
time_sink_v8396's journal
